Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, "Why did I just say that?" Oh, me too. But thankfully, the Buddha left us plenty of tools to transform even our speech into something sacred. In this episode, we explore an acronym I recently added to my spiritual toolbox, W.A.I.T. — Why Am I Talking? Before we speak, we can pause and ask ourselves this simple question to check our motivation. Are we trying to connect or control? Are we speaking from kindness or merely from habit?

The Four Gates of Speech

Another powerful filter comes directly from the Buddha. Before we speak, we can ask ourselves if our words pass through these Four Gates:

1. Is it true?
2. Is it kind?
3. Is it necessary?
4. Is it the right time?

The Downfalls of Speech

In the Buddhist teaching on Right Speech, the Buddha identified four types of unskillful speech that cause harm:

• Lying – intentionally deceiving
• Divisive speech – creating conflict or turning people against each other
• Harsh speech – cruel, aggressive, or hurtful words
• Idle gossip– pointless talk that distracts and wastes energy

We can gradually reduce these habits and move toward speech that uplifts, heals, and connects.

A Practice You Can Try Today

Next time you're about to speak, even just in casual conversation, take a beat and ask:

"W.A.I.T — Why am I talking?"

You might find there's wisdom in the silence. Or you might find your words come from a more beautiful place, a place of kindness, truth, and intention.

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This episode is a gentle return to something simple, sacred, and too often forgotten: the present moment. The only moment we ever truly have. 

We explore what it means to really be present. True calm arises when we're not lost in yesterday's story or tomorrow's worries but rest in the stillness of the now. JoAnn Fox, a Buddhist teacher of over twenty years, will talk about why presence is the ground of peace, the birthplace of connection, and the secret doorway to joy.

Let's take a breath and be here now.

They do not grieve over the past,

Nor do they yearn for the future;

They live only in the present

— That is why their face is so calm.

It's from yearning for the future,

And from grieving over the past;

This is how fools become withered

Like a fresh reed that's been hacked down.

–Buddha, from the Arañña Sutta (A Face So Calm)

Resources

Buddha, translated by Andrew Olendzki, 2006. The Arañña Sutta: A Face So Calm. Retrieved from: https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn01/sn01.010.olen.html

Find us at the links below: 

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To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program

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We chase happiness like it’s just around the corner. Could our final destination, “happiness,” be hidden in a new relationship, job title, city, or home? But His Holiness the Dalai Lama, with his childlike laugh and mountain-like presence, has let us in on a little secret: the true source of happiness isn’t getting what we want. It’s cherishing others. It’s being kind. 

The Dalai Lama says, “The basic source of all happiness is a sense of kindness and warm-heartedness towards others.”

Buddhist teachings remind us again and again that when we shift the spotlight from ourselves, a strange thing happens. Our minds soften. Our hearts open. And we begin to feel...better. Lighter. More connected.

Cherishing others means genuinely caring about their happiness and well-being, just like we do for ourselves. And when we practice this, whether by listening with full attention, letting someone go ahead of us in line, or sending a silent wish for a stranger’s joy, we start to feel more joy ourselves. Real joy. The kind that doesn't depend on circumstances.

According to the Dalai Lama, “Thinking only about yourself—having a very self-centered attitude—creates a lot of anxiety, loneliness, fear, and anger.”

It turns out that the road to lasting happiness isn't paved with self-fulfillment, but with love that stretches beyond the self. 

Resources 

Dalai Lama. The purpose of life is to be happy. Retrieved from:https://www.dalailama.com/messages/transcripts-and-interviews/the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-happy

Find us at the links below: 

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This episode is about those moments when life doesn't go according to plan: when things go wrong, fall apart, or just feel too heavy to bear. At these times, mental strength becomes our most valuable refuge. But what does it really mean to be mentally strong? How can we cultivate that strength without becoming rigid or emotionally shut down?

We'll be exploring one of my favorite quotes from the great Buddhist master Shantideva:

"If something can be done, why worry?

If nothing can be done, why worry?"

This deceptively simple teaching holds the key to freedom from anxiety, overwhelm, and emotional reactivity. In this episode, we explore practical strategies to move through worry and return to peace, even in the middle of life's messiness.

1. If Something Can Be Done, Why Worry?

When facing a challenge that has a solution, taking action (even a very small steps) restores our sense of agency.

Can you make a call? Write something down? Apologize? Ask for help? Tiny acts of courage move the mind from helplessness to confidence.

But often, we don't take action because our own minds get in the way.

2. If Nothing Can Be Done, Why Worry?

Sometimes, there's nothing we can do to change a situation. We have no control over a loss, an illness, or someone else's behavior. This is where mental strength blossoms, not from resistance, but from acceptance.

Here are a few practices for these moments:

• Limit your worry window.

Give yourself 20–30 minutes to think it through, write it out, or talk it out. Then gently close the door on worry for the day. This boundary creates emotional breathing room.

• Let other people be who they are.

Much of our suffering comes from trying to manage others' choices. We can still love them and maintain boundaries, but we cannot fix or control them. Let them.

• Don't believe every thought.

Especially the ones that say, "This will never get better," or "I can't handle this." Thoughts are not facts. Watch them arise like clouds, but don't let them storm your peace.

Mental strength isn't the absence of emotion or difficulty. It's the quiet courage to respond rather than react—to act when we can and let go when we must.

So next time something goes wrong, take a breath and ask yourself:

"Can something be done?"

If yes, begin.

If not, release.

That's the wisdom of worry-less living.

“Praise and blame, fame and shame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all.”

― Buddha

We're exploring a truth so simple yet profound it almost feels like a secret; every problem we have comes from just one thing, our own mind. Specifically, our problems come from misperceiving reality: we see our worries, fears, and stresses as big, immovable mountains. In reality, they're more like clouds, shifting and changing with the winds of the mind.

Nothing is as fixed as it seems. Everything depends on perception (even that thing you're stressing about right now).

The mind of worry conjures up what we fear. The worst-case scenario hasn't happened, may not happen, but we let these figments of our imagination torment us. Instead, we're going to practice a beautiful little mind trick: instead of thinking, "What's the worst that could happen?" we'll try asking, "What's the best that could happen?" Perhaps everything will play out in ways that are incredibly healing or positive...there's no way to know for sure. So why not plant seeds of hope instead of fear and watch what grows? This small shift that can open up a whole new way of experiencing your life.

To register for two free virtual classes, “Developing Universal Love and Compassion” on Saturday, May 10 and 17, 2025 visit www.BuddhismForEveryone.com

References with Links

Lama Zopa Rinpoche, 2008. How Things Exist: Teachings on Emptiness. Lama Zopa Rinpoche Edited by Ailsa Cameron. Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive. 

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